I was really excited to take the assessments this week
on communication. I was very interested to see how others would score my
communication skills. My communication skills has gotten better over the years,
especially when it comes to conflicts. Instead of raising my voice and talking over
people, I know how to control my voice and my emotions. Although some of my
scores on the aggressive scale do not reflect this. I plan to reflect more on
this so I can see how I can improve on this. The purpose of communication with
others is to understand what each other is saying. A well-known UCLA study
found that only around 7% of the meaning of spoken communication came from words
alone, 55% came from facial expression and 38% came from the way the words were
said (http://www.intstudentsup.org/communicating/effective_communication/index.jsp).
So as you can see a lot goes on when communicating, it’s not just about the
words.
This week when taking the three assessments on communication
I was very honest in scoring myself as so were my aunt Cindy and my coworker
Ms. K. I choose both of these ladies to evaluate me based on y relationships
with them. My aunt of course has known me since birth, my coworker on the other
hand we have known each other about almost a year now. So I thought that it
would be interesting to see how someone who had known me my whole life would
evaluate me based on someone who has only known me almost a year but spends
eight hours a day with me seven days a week. Ms. K felt that on the verbal aggressive
scale that I maintained a good balance between respect and consideration of
others viewpoints, in which I do agree (Rubin, Palmgreen, Sypher, 2009). Surprisingly
I and my mother felt that I attack people’s positions when talking and
personally attack them which is hurtful to the listener. This is true however
there is no harm intended I just tend to get a little excited when talking at
times and have very strong opinions.
When completing the learning styles profile all three
of us were on the same accord (Rubin 2009). We all agreed that when
communicating I focus on the details of the conversation and have all
information before I make a response. As well as I can be empathetic when
talking to others which helps to build relationships. When it came to the
anxiety inventory all three of us were at odds. I felt that was comfortable
with communicating in most situations and was confident in doing so. However my
aunt scored my low and Ms. K scored me mild. I hope to have a discussion with
the both of them about that particular part, they are both very busy women so
it was very nice of them to take time out of their schedules and do this for
me. We all agreed on that communication is something that I don’t really worry
about unless it is in front of a crowd. One class that I have never taken is
public speaking, I hope to do one day so I can face my fear of speaking in
public or to large groups.
I was very surprised that all of our scores on the assessments
were very similar. I expected all of them to be totally different especially my
coworkers being that she hasn’t known me that long, so that was very
interesting. I thought my co-worker would have graded me a little tougher
especially when it came to the aggressive scale being that we sometimes
disagree and have totally different teaching styles. This week I learned that we are more
willing to interact in situations where we feel we have strengths and where our
self-concept is confirmed by others (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, Teven p. 47). Which
is so true when I am work I am more drawn to conversations about curriculum and
other topics in early childhood education. Knowing this can help me at my job
by allowing me to let parents and students know they are important to me, and
that I respect them in every way. Knowing this can also be helpful because it
reminds me to communicate with families in a manner that lets them know they
have the right to offer suggestion to help make the program better. As far as
my personal life I feel knowing this can help me to build better relationships
when communicating. Also while reading
chapter two I learned about the Interaction appearance theory which explains how people change their perception of
someone else as they spend more time together (O’Hair p. 37). When I read this
it was as if a light bulb went off in my head, I have done this so many times
but never knew it was a theory that explained this. Professionally knowing this
will help me to build better relationships with co-workers and parents. In my
personal life I feel that knowing about this theory will help me to improve my
personal relationships with family and friends by taking time to understand
them as individuals. Communication is very complex and can be influenced by a
number of things. Therefore Boundaries in communication should always be clear so
that the information being transferred is fully understood.
References
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.
(2015). Real communication (3rd.
ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Rubin,
R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication
research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.
Picture 3
Leah-
ReplyDeleteAll of my assessments came out surprisingly close too which was a surprise. I like that you chose someone who has known you all of your life, I think it is interesting to see how we change and evolve as we grow older. I know I communicate much differently than myself even a few years ago. Thank you for sharing your learnings and experiences this week!
Julie Ringle
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading about how we are more inclined to interact where our strengths are. I can see how true this is. I am shy, but will speak up when I know a subject very well. I thought it was great that you had your aunt and coworker fill out the survey. I think this exercise is great because it will help us grow as a communicator.
Ruthanne
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention in my initial post that a great way to practice your speaking skills is to maybe join a Toastmasters group. Their website will list where a close one is to you.
Cheers,
Ruthanne